When in relationship pain, your thoughts can be, "Is divorce the answer to my pain?" That question implies uncertainty about God's desire and PERFECTION! Trying to get out of pain is a common theme when you hear the stories of broken marriages and families because of divorce. 

And unfortunately, when your relationship is difficult, most well-meaning friends tell you to get out of the relationship. Even if you believe divorce is unacceptable, your pain makes it seem the ONLY option

Is Divorce the Answer?

He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so." - Matthew 19:8

Hard Hearts

Consider this question - "Is divorce the answer, or is it a sin?"

It is hard to assume that is true, considering God made a provision for it in the Mosaic Law in Deuteronomy 24. I am much more comfortable stating that divorce is not a sin, but sin leads to divorce. That is much easier for me to accept when God provides instructions on how to do it. Watch the videos in course 11B to learn more.

The hardness of our hearts and sin in our life too often result in divorce. Of course, God can use the event for our best (Romans 8:28). Sometimes, the pain it creates begins a search for God. 

God's original law for marriage did not have any means for separation (Genesis 2:24), but later the Code of Hammurabi introduced divorce. Then, through the Mosaic law, God introduced His way of going about the process.

An Option

Obviously, divorce is not what God wants because Malachi 2:16 says God hates it. But God gave it as an option, "...because of the hardness of your hearts..." (Matthew 19:8). And, in no way is GR8 Relationships in favor of breaking up marriages even though it is being referred to as an option. People confuse the message and truth about divorce to construe that we are okay with it - WE AREN'T. This, just like freedom, can be misunderstood and misused.

Other issues that get misunderstood and misapplied are situations where sexual immorality has damaged the relationship. People think that requires breaking the marriage covenant, but that is a misapplication of what Jesus said in Matthew 19:9.

Yes, divorce is an OPTION, a bad one. It is much better to work on reconciling the relationship rather than trusting a hard heart. Louie and I are proof of the power of God that can redeem and restore marriage through those times.


God does permit divorce, and again, it is a bad option because it shows where your heart is - on self - not on what God wants.

God's original and the BEST plan is to stay together. Don't be like the people that Ezekiel was dealing with -

So they come to you as people do, they sit before you as My people, and they hear your words, but they do not do them; for with their mouth they show much love, but their hearts pursue their own gain. - (Ezekiel 33:31)

When you are in pain, and you are saying YES, but they are saying NO, what is the key message you need to hear? God asks you to do what is right no matter what others do.

Relationships can be challenging; you may not even want to be around them. God wants you to say YES anyway and work it out!

But the pain gets you to ignore God's perfect ways. Please change your mind and consider that you will face your judgment day before God. He will judge you according to what He has asked you to do. And, at that time, it will have nothing to do with whether THEY say YES to the relationship. It will have everything to do with whether YOU say YES to the relationship!

Embrace the pain, and do what God asks you to do. It is time to start DOING instead of HEARING only.

PURSUING THEIR BEST - Freedom in Relationships

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