Woman’s Judgment and the PROBLEM | GR8 Relationships

Woman’s Judgment and the PROBLEM

The woman's judgment drives her to focus attention on RELATIONSHIPS that are fulfilling. And, that phrase as stated, isn’t bad. But, it becomes bad, when she tries to control the relationships so that her design need is met her way or she gets her way.

Why does she do that? Because the woman's judgment gets her to focus on herself, her design need for relationships, without using her design to help, nurture, and support. So, it becomes “all about ME”, getting her way.

Woman's Judgment and the PROBLEM

To the woman, He said: "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain your shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." – Genesis 3:16

Her Relationships Aren't Satisfying

The woman's judgment is ultimately driving her to act according to her sin nature (the PROBLEM). You can see the basic judgment structure in the graph below.

The current reality (HERE) is things aren’t going the way she desires. So, she is dissatisfied. And, the more she is dissatisfied with that reality and not trust God to use her current circumstances to grow and develop her, she trusts herself. With that type of thinking, she focuses on her needs, remember “Where you look, you tend to go.” Therefore, her THERE helps create a PATH of actions like those shown.

Structure Drives Control of Relationships

The actions will work, because the structure demands behavior. But, she runs into a big problem, because the structure demands DEPENDENCE on the behavior of her children and husband. They must appreciate her and relate to her - her way.

Why is that a problem? Because you cannot actually control anyone but yourself. Yes, you may control (manipulate or dominate) for a period of time, but when others sense they are being controlled, rebellion enters the picture.

A woman in that situation becomes dependent on others doing a “job” for her. She thinks her children and husband “should, ought, or must” be the way she wants, otherwise, she will not achieve her desired end result – Fulfilling Relationships. And, that leads to SAFETY and SECURITY in her mind!

Structure Creates Frustration

The structure works – temporarily! The THERE and the HERE become the same, because the actions can and will work. Energy to pull the HERE to the THERE is resolved and there is no more tension.

BUT, since the judgment is still in place AND, she does not pursue relationships God’s way, the structure is re-established. Her children and/or husband will not always do their “job.” They will not always make her happy and do what she wants. So, the THERE and HERE separate again, tension is re-established, and the path of actions are again in place.

The graph on the video above does not portray the frustration that occurs in the woman's judgment. When she achieves THERE, it is only temporary. So, this results in a pattern of oscillation. Sometimes her relationship with her children and husband fulfill her and sometimes they don’t.

Woman's Judgment As an Oscillation

Like the candy bar ad from the past, “Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.”

Her desire for satisfying relationships leads to the resolution of selfless effort into those relationships. That effort illustrates God's design of a woman.

Unfortunately, the sin nature rears its ugly head and cries, “What about ME?” Inevitably, apart from trust in a PERFECT God, she feels dissatisfied and unappreciated, which may be real. But, even if there is no evidence of no appreciation, her sin nature convinces her that she deserves "more and better." Now, her energy drives heightened expectations of appreciation from her husband and children for her work and effort.

Oscillation Drives Good and Bad Behavior

With that attitude, she slides down the slippery slope into the “swirling sucking vortex of despair”. Because, her expectations are based on what should be happening or her ideal. That means she set herself up to primarily see a lack of appreciation. Worse yet, the more she expects it from her children and husband, they sense her trying to control them and, without the energy and grace of God, they will give appreciation reluctantly or, just rebel and refuse.

Consequently, her sin nature focuses more on getting her own needs met and often pursues relationships that do fulfill her for the moment. And that means, even though it may not fit her values, she can easily justify inappropriate relationships, because “after all, I deserve it”.

All of this is occurring, because of the combination of the PROBLEM and the Judgments!

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