Man’s Judgment and the PROBLEM

Man's judgment focuses his attention on work and activities, leading him to abdicate leadership in the home and try to control his work. Most of what we said about the woman's judgment happens for the man, but it doesn't look anything like what happens with a woman. The pattern is similar to the man's judgment but different. 

A man wants fulfilling work and activities because they fulfill his design. Yes, relationships are part of his life, but those come second to work and activities.

Both men and women “make everything about ME.” That is the same for all humans with their sin nature. But men's and women's designs, along with their judgments, make their actions and pain very different. A woman “makes it about ME” when she tries to control her relationships. A man “makes it about ME” when he tries to control his work and activities.

Man’s Judgment and the PROBLEM

Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’: Cursed is the ground for your sake; in toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life. Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you, and you shall eat the herb of the field. In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for dust you are, and to dust you shall return.” Genesis 3:17-19

His Work Isn't Fulfilling or Satisfying

Man's judgment ultimately drives him to act according to his sin nature (the PROBLEM). The primary judgment structure is in the graph below.

His judgment focuses attention on himself and ignores the use of his design for providing, protecting, and preserving. So, it becomes “all about ME” so he can get his way.

Structure Drives Him To Control Work

Look at the graph above. A man's current reality is that things aren’t going the way he wants. The more dissatisfied he is with that reality and does not trust God to use his current circumstances to grow and develop him, the more he will trust something other than God; often, it is himself. That puts his focus on getting his needs met his way. His THERE becomes the elements of his judgment, which drive a PATH of actions like those shown.

The actions are effective, but he immediately or eventually runs into a big problem! His structure demands DEPENDENCE on his work and activities (and his wife changing) to appreciate him and provide fulfillment and significance.

When a man’s judgment drives him, he becomes dependent upon work and activities doing a “job” for him. It “should, ought, or must” be the way he wants; otherwise, he will not achieve his desired end result—fulfilling Work and Activities—which he sees as leading to SIGNIFICANCE!

Structure Creates Frustration

You can see that the structure works—temporarily! The THERE and the HERE become the same because the actions work. The energy pulling the HERE to the THERE resolves, and there is no more tension.

BUT, since the man's judgment is still in place AND he is not pursuing work and activities God’s way, the structure re-establishes itself. Work and activities stop doing their “job” of making him happy, which is what he wants, so the THERE and HERE separate, and the tension is re-established.

The oscillation for the man's judgment differs from what you saw for the woman.

A man is built with the tension of desiring satisfying work and activities, respect, and significance, especially from the family. The same is true of his desire for physical oneness with his wife, which is different from the emotional oneness that a wife desires with her husband.

All of those desires are a good illustration of operating in a man’s God-given design.

Unfortunately, the sin nature rears its ugly head and cries, “What about ME?” Inevitably, when he does not trust in a PERFECT God, he sees most responses as less than adequate, resulting in feeling unappreciated. His feelings may have reality backing them, but his sin nature convinces him that he deserves better treatment even if there is no evidence. His energy now drives heightened expectations of appreciation from work, activities, and even his wife and children for what he is doing for them.

Oscillation Drives Good and Bad Behavior

Man's judgment drives him into an oscillating pattern. He slides down the slippery slope into the “swirling sucking vortex of despair.” Since the expectations focus on what should be happening or what his ideal is, he sets himself up to primarily see a lack of appreciation. Worse yet, the more he expects it from his work (co-worker, boss, etc.), children, and wife, the more they sense his control (manipulation or domination) and, without the energy and grace of God, provide a reluctant response or rebel and refuse.

Consequently, his sin nature focuses more on getting his needs met and often pursues work, activities, and relationships that respond to him. Inappropriate relationships can easily be justified in the name of feeling significant.

That said, you may wonder about a guy who doesn’t work. What about him? What about an irresponsible man, even a homeless man? Is he somehow immune to the Judgment?

Those are some great questions that can also be asked about women. What about the woman who leaves her kids and husband? What about the woman who is only work-oriented?

All this occurs because of the combination of the PROBLEM and the Judgments!

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