Three Actions To Blossom Relationships And Help People Change

God provides three actions to blossom relationships when others are not following His wisdom. This helps you accept and correct them. 

Bad behavior will occur with those that we have chosen to accept. Demanding change is an option but often has a higher probability of creating rebellion than change. And, too often, the demand for change is about you wanting relief from their bad behavior. That drives improper emotions in you, damaging more than building the relationship.

A Better Way

There is a better way, a pattern to follow.

Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load. – Galatians 6:1-5

Notice the three critical elements – a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself, and bearing another’s burdens. And notice what those three elements do – fulfill the law of Christ.

And what is the law of Christ? LOVE – pursuing their best; patiently, kindly, sacrificially, and unconditionally!

…love the Lord your God… and your neighbor as yourself. – Luke 10:27

Following that pattern is the love that helps relationships become great. You are not controlled by their bad behavior, which quickly leads to judging and damaging the relationship. When your end result is to love them – pursue their best, not demand they change, you help build the relationship.

Share the Truth in Love

Choosing to pursue their best or acting with the standard of love provides freedom instead of fear about sharing the truth. You are gentle. You are honest about yourself (you have dealt with your sin) and them, but not judging.

Without the standard of love, you try to control their behavior, judging them. Their behavior occupies your mind removing energy for more productive thinking, actions, and feelings. The worst part about judging is that it reduces or prevents thoughts about your behavior.

God is the only judge, so be careful when your energy is spent judging others.

But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. For it is written: “As I live, says the LORD, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” So then each of us shall give account of himself to God. Therefore not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way. – Romans 14:10-13

Instead of judging which destroys relationships, be gentle. Remember the five freedom actions to aid gentleness.

When correction is needed – hope, pray, and encourage change; sometimes exhort and rebuke.

Because we tend to judge, skipping the first four and going straight to rebuke is extremely easy. That is why God provided Galatians 6:1-5. You want their behavior to change, but instead of seeking to restore them, rebuke is your tendency.

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