REAL Older Women Are Reverent, Self-controlled, Teachers

Real older women bless any community or organization when they live as God asks. That means they are teaching good things. The distinction between older and younger in Titus 2 may be based on physical age or spiritual maturity.

Are You An Older or Younger Woman? 

Instead of answering that question, consider this question: Are you willing to teach God’s Word to other women? If so, then you may fit in the older woman category.

Before making a final decision, here is another question: Does your life demonstrate what is listed in the young women category? Please reread the list, as some items may be more challenging for women, especially given the messages the world conveys. It is only possible to be loving, virtuous, and submissive when you walk with and rely on the Spirit of the Lord.

God does not ask you to do those things perfectly, but are those words foundational elements in your life as a woman? If yes, continue your learning process and be ready to help other women apply those critical elements to their lives.

Real Older Women Are Examples

God desires older women to be examples for younger women. He wants you to act based on your Godly values, to take your “gentle and quiet spirit,” what is on the inside, and display it to other women, especially young women.

As you age, it's easy to think about retiring, or I like to call it “sliding for home.” Please reconsider how you could serve others instead of making life more about yourself (Flashing ME?). You have the fantastic opportunity to help young women see how life works best! There is no better way to help someone than to encourage them to choose God’s ways.

If you are physically older, generally, the home requires less attention than before, which leaves more time to help outside your home. While the help you see in Titus 2 is primarily mentoring, one-on-one relationships with young women, there are multiple ways to help young women – even babysitting the kids occasionally is a great help.

Overall, Titus tells you, through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, that an older woman helps in the community (especially in her church) in three ways: she is reverent, self-controlled, and a teacher.

Reverent

How could you be an example to others without behavior that is reverent? Well, maybe reverent is not a good word for you, so how about “showing profound respect, especially for God.” Does that help?

As an older woman, your “reverent behavior” is highly respected. I see reverence containing a humility and faith component. If you show profound respect, especially for God, it implies that you know Him well enough to not only have faith that His ways are best, but also, and more importantly, to fear Him, which produces humility. You know that He is much higher than you, and you only have worth because He provided His Son, Jesus Christ, our Savior.

Older Women and Men

You may have noted that God desires reverence of both older women and older men. As an older woman, you are asked to exhibit decency and decorum in your outward conduct, clothing, actions, appearance, and speech. Of course, the immediate implication is that outward conduct is driven by inward Godly principles such as:

1 Corinthians 10:31— Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

Philippians 4:8— Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Now, what do you think about the immediate next item that Titus lists – not slanderers? You have just been provided the first criterion of a godly older woman, which is “reverent in behavior,” and that is followed by “not slanderers.” God states things in precisely the way He wants us to read them. Think about what Jesus said to the Pharisees –

Matthew 12:34— Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

Slandering Is Doing Satan's Work for him

You may believe that you have reverent behavior, but if you are slandering others, that’s evidence that you do not. A godly older woman does not sow discord, falsely accuse, backbite, or speak badly of people.

Do you want to know something alarming? If you are a slanderer, you are being equated with Satan. “Slanderer” is the same name God uses for Satan! That means, as a slanderer, you are doing the devil’s work. A slanderer’s tongue is set on fire by Satan himself. Various slimy things, such as hatred, envy, or comparison, can kindle the fire. What a contrast to reverent behavior! Even more striking is that true reverent behavior would be characterized by exhibiting love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control – the fruits of the Holy Spirit.

Since you are a Godly older woman, God asks you to let His Spirit control you, not your sin nature.

Real Older Women Are Self-Controlled

“Not given to much wine” is clearly about drinking, a problem in that culture and today. It is explicitly addressed to older women because it sets a bad example for young women, and it is unfitting for "teachers of good things." Much so-called “help” is given when drinking – think about all the advice that is provided, especially as you get “smarter” due to the influence of alcohol! Maybe you do not drink, but I know from my past that when I drank, the curse of alcohol worked on me. I was always smarter and better looking.

Being under the influence of anything except the Spirit of God prevents objectivity and reality. It is neither helpful nor befitting anyone when you have a problem with alcohol. Of course, there are too few alcoholics who are willing to admit that alcohol is controlling them.

Self-control Covers More Than Drinking

The broader meaning of “not given to much wine” is Self-control. Without self-control, you will be operating in the flesh, “Flashing your ME,” which creates problems in any relationship.

And while you take on the role of teacher, you will need self-control. One of the most critical attitudes to have when teaching or helping others is to remember that you do not have to help them. That sounds wrong.

But if you think that you have to help, it becomes more about you doing a good or poor job. Notice the subtle shift in focus – from them to you. It is much better to let God use you. There are numerous pitfalls when the focus is on you doing a good job rather than just being available. You want to make your time with them about offering truth in love, no matter how the other person chooses to respond. Your job is to share the truth as best you can, allowing God to speak through you. Their response is between them and God.

Unlimited Supply of Self-control from the Holy Spirit

When you choose to follow the Spirit so that He is controlling your self, not flashing your “ME”, then you have the best chance to help. However, your efforts may or may not be effective. That is up to God.

That is a reasonable implication that self-control or control of self is part of your life. Unlimited control of self comes from your walk with the Holy Spirit and nothing else. If you see too little self-control in your life, it may be an indication of how little you trust God and follow the Spirit. It's not always the case, but it's a good place to start looking.

Real Older Women Are Teachers

Were you able to note the teaching sequence that Paul provided to Titus? Paul said the teaching was to occur in this manner: Titus teaches the older women, and they, in turn, teach the younger women. It seems a little inefficient; why not have Titus teach them all at the same time?

I speculate that 1) God wants the teachers to grow more through their teaching time, 2) God wants to protect Titus and the younger women from getting involved with each other, and 3) women can more easily identify with other women. Regardless of the reason, it is the way God intended for the teaching to occur.

What Do You Know AND Apply?

Before you teach, consider taking inventory of what you know and what you actually apply. Your teaching will be a great benefit to both what you know and how you use it. Of course, you may not be prepared to teach some things stated in this passage, but it is never too late to learn! Find someone to talk with you and even teach it to you, because God wants you to teach the younger women what He wants them to know, and maybe what you did not know when you were young.

Your teaching has an impact when you talk about the reality of the pain you experienced because you did not apply God’s truth. You can be the example of “what not to be.” That is best taught with humility and a sense of humor.

Key Topics to Teach

The Apostle Paul provides a great list of things to teach. Before you start, you can ask yourself some basic questions like the following:

• Loving her husband - Do you know what that involves?
• Loving her children - How might she not be doing this?
• Being discreet - Why does this matter?
• Being pure - Is this really necessary?
• Being good - What does this look like?
• Being a homemaker - But what about a career?
• Being subject to her husband - What if he is an untrustworthy jerk?

You may have doubts that God is calling you to teach younger women. If so, remember that it is easier to say no than to say yes to this opportunity. Ask God to reveal His desire for you. And remember, it is God who is offering you this excellent opportunity to serve Him through your teaching. His will and plan will come to pass. He is so gracious that He allows us to receive credit for the work He is doing—all we are asked to do is trust Him and do what He asks.

If you do believe God wants you to teach, then ask God to make each of these truths real to you through His Word, your past, and others’ experiences. Ask Him to reveal ways to teach younger women from your mistakes as well as your victories.