Love Solves the PROBLEM!
It is easy to see how many ways people try to fix a relationship. Most often, people think the solution is found in the other person changing. That may help, but that isn't the solution. Actually, love solves THE PROBLEM and all relationship problems. You might accept that statement without really knowing what we are actually proposing.
So, let me help you. Here is the definition of love we use:
Pursuing the best for others; patiently, kindly, sacrificially, and unconditionally.
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Want A Great Relationship?
When you understand the definition of love that we use, then you may see how it helps relationships. Love solves the problems you experience in relationships, completely. In fact, it solves THE biggest relationship problem - making everything about "ME."
So, if you want a great relationship, then you…
AND, most of all, you practice a Godly definition of love.
Would Your Definition of a Great Relationship Change?
How much would your definition of a great relationship change if you revise it to use the definition of love? Would it change if you don't require anything from the other person?
Obviously, a relationship is best when both parties use the proposed definition of love. That means there is no dependence on the other person's actions, thinking, or feelings. Each person simply decides to pursue the best for the other person.
Unfortunately, that is scary to most people, because they want a guarantee that their actions have a "return on investment."
What If They Don't Pursue Your Best?
Yes, love solves the problem, your ME problem, but what about them? Well, when they aren’t pursuing your best, that is when you test your decision. And, when they ARE pursuing your best, telling you the truth, but you can’t see it or don’t like it, you again test your decision.
Love solves your ME problem, but they is no guarantee they will pursue your best in return. There is no guarantee they solve their own ME problem.
That is why we include freedom, forgiveness, confession, feelings, designs, and judgments in the GR8 Relationships material. When you understand how those other items work, it helps you maintain your decision. But, nothing is more important for relationships than your decision to apply the definition of love.
Yes, love solves the problem and probably every relationship problem, but you can't do it by yourself. You will not be able to practice that definition with your own strength very long. Your sin nature fights against you practicing the definition of love. ONLY THE HOLY SPIRIT provides you the energy to maintain love for the long term.
So, will you pursue their best anyway? That's the real test. Love solves the problem, but it totally depends on your decision.