Love solves THE PROBLEM in any relationship. Unfortunately, agreeing with that statement without understanding what I said is easy.
Most often, people think the solution for a relationship is when the other person makes changes you want. Actually, the changes you want often ultimately hurt the relationship. How? They made the changes you wanted; now you have higher expectations that must be met!
So, let me help you with the real solution. It requires a clear definition of love which is:
Pursue their best patiently, kindly, sacrificially, and unconditionally.
Want A Great Relationship?
When you understand the definition of love, it is easier to see how it helps relationships. In fact, love solves the problems you experience in relationships completely. It not only solves problems, but it also solves THE biggest relationship problem - making everything about "ME."
So, if you want a great relationship, then you…
AND, most of all, you practice a Godly definition of love.
Would Your Definition of a Great Relationship Change?
Stop and think about how you define a great relationship. Now, please write it or type it in a note.
With that definition you wrote, consider this. How much would your definition of a great relationship change if it places no expectations on the other person? That is often difficult to accept. So, the foundation of a great relationship requires nothing of the other person.
A relationship is best when both parties use the definition of love. That means each person does not depend on whether the other person's actions, thinking, or feelings please them. Each person decides to pursue the best for the other.
Unfortunately, that is scary because we want a guarantee that the other person will treat us well. Love does not require that!
What If They Don't Pursue Your Best?
Yes, love solves the problem, your ME problem, but what about them? Well, when they don't pursue your best, that is when you test your decision to love them. And, when they DO pursue your best and tell you the truth, but you don't see it or don’t like it, you again test your decision.
Will you still pursue their best?
Love solves your ME problem, but there is no guarantee they will pursue your best in return. There is no guarantee they will solve their own ME problem.
That is why we include freedom, forgiveness, confession, feelings, designs, and judgments in the GR8 Relationships material. Understanding how those other items work helps you maintain your decision to pursue their best. But nothing is more important for your relationships than your decision to apply the definition of love.
Yes, love solves the PROBLEM and every relationship problem, but you can't do it alone. You will only practice that definition with your strength for a short time. Your sin nature fights against the definition of love. ONLY THE HOLY SPIRIT provides you the energy to love for the long term.
So, what is your decision? Will you pursue their best anyway? That's the actual test. Love solves the problem, but it depends on your decision.
PURSUING THEIR BEST - Freedom in Relationships