Love is THE solution to all relationship problems. In fact, love will solve THE PROBLEM for all relationships. And, if you read or watch any of the GR8 Relationships material, you know the PROBLEM is when you "make everything about ME!"
What Is Love?
When you say you “love” someone, what are you saying?
Since God's Word provides “…all things that pertain to life and godliness…” (2 Peter 1:3), reading God's words about love makes sense.
Before you read the verses below, consider your relationships, especially if they are experiencing problems. Think about those relationships, then read the verses. It will be more beneficial.
Please read the following verses slowly and reflect on your relationships.
Love Is the Solution!
Would you help your relationship if you did those things? Of course, you would!
Then why aren't those things happening in your relationships? You may have heard and read this passage many times, but biblical knowledge requires action to change your life. And you won't do those things when your definition of love is more about ME than others. It is typical to talk about love but not act according to God’s description of love.
We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another. – Jonathan Swift
A clear head and a deep understanding are of no value without a benevolent and charitable heart. – Matthew Henry
World’s View of Love
The world completely misses the beauty of love as God has described it. There are so many inadequate definitions of the word love.
World’s “love” is selfish
It encourages flashing your ME, seeking our good above the good of others. And, it is not kind because that means you would be thinking about the other person. The world’s view of love too often wants to control others.
World's "love" is conditional
It depends upon your needs being met, and you will “love” them as long as that happens. What’s worse, the conditions keep changing because your expectations keep changing. When you first were attracted to them, the conditions were few. The expectations are much more intense and numerous now that you know them. No longer is it okay to have them say they love you; it requires scientific proof!
World's "love" is temporary
When you are unhappy, when things get uncomfortable or difficult in the relationship, or when you no longer feel loved or loving, love is gone. That "love" is as fleeting as magic fairy dust blown away in high wind. It knows nothing of patience.
Worse yet, that thinking drives the statement about “falling in love.” When you fall, it is not something you decide to do; it happens to you, right? You are caught in a wave of feelings, sprinkled with love dust, and poof, you are now in love!
Yes, I do believe in “chemistry” between people. It is real, but that is attraction, not love. If you can “fall in love,” you can “fall out of love.” When the love dust is gone, you no longer love them. In other words, that view says love is some force of the universe that stays with you or doesn’t, entirely out of your control.
When you look at the world’s selfish, conditional, and temporary love, it is easy not to want that and desire love to be different. But how often are you relating to others that way? What is your definition of love? How do you love people in your life?
God’s View of Love
Here are most English definitions of “love” from Webster’s Dictionary.
There is only one that gets close to the 1 Corinthians description. If 1 Corinthians 13 and Ephesians 5 are used, a working definition of love can be created.
Pursuing their best patiently, kindly, sacrificially, and unconditionally
What would be different in your life and relationships if you defined love that way? Practicing that definition would solve the PROBLEM and all relationship mistakes you make.
Not About the One Loved
Most importantly, notice this definition says nothing about the one loved. It does not pursue their best “as long as they pursue my best, too.” And it does not limit the suffering, kindness, or sacrifice in proportion to how well the other person behaves.
The supreme example is Christ, who perfectly practiced this definition. He loves you patiently, kindly, sacrificially, and unconditionally while you were not a member of His family (Romans 5:6), while you were spiritually dead (Ephesians 2:4, 5), while you were his enemy (Romans 5:10)! There is no way you will ever be able to pay Him back or be worthy of His love. And still, He loves you!
That is the love He calls you to have for others. Love is THE solution for all relationship issues! This love satisfies because it is not dependent on others. And it is love that transforms horrible relationships into beauty, hope, and freedom.
Next Time You Say, "I Love You"
The next time you say. “I love you,” ask yourself, “Am I willing to pursue their best, their highest good, patiently, kindly, sacrificially, and unconditionally?”
The critical difference between real love and the world’s love is the word “decision.” Love is a decision to which your feelings respond. Love exists beyond attraction, which requires a decision to pursue their best, their highest good, patiently, kindly, sacrificially, and unconditionally.
Since love is THE solution, it solves THE PROBLEM!
So, are you willing to decide to love others?
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