Accepting a person is not the same as approving their actions or lifestyle. When you do not understand the difference, you only look at their behavior and forget what it means to accept them as Christ does.
Relationships suffer when you confuse accepting a person with approving of a person's behavior. Those are two separate elements. Jesus' consistent interaction with people shows us that accepting a person and approving or agreeing with their behavior are not connected – praise God!
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39
God Accepts Us
God the Father accepts us when we believe in Jesus Christ, His Son! He makes us new creatures, adopts us into His family, and guarantees us a place with Him in eternity! Nothing can separate us from His love.
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39
And we either please or displease Him with our behavior.
But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. – Hebrews 11:6
His disapproval of our bad behavior doesn’t change the fact that He accepts us as part of His family. Isn’t that true of you and your parents? Bad behavior does not prevent you from being your parents' biological child.
God accepts us, and our behavior doesn't change that. Our behavior is totally separate from His acceptance of us.
Oh, NO, another Truth Table!! Please watch the video.
Displeasure with Behavior Isn't Part of Acceptance
You are also free to accept others even when their behavior is inappropriate. It’s your choice, and it is separate from their qualifications, actions, or thinking. You do not need to reject and remove someone from your life because of their behavior. But too often, that happens.
You can have standards for accepting someone and standards for their behavior – that’s fine. And you can accept someone just because you want to! Acceptance is totally your choice – with or without standards.
Their behavior, on the other hand, is their decision. They choose what they do, and that may please or displease you. In fact, you can be sad, angry, excited, or brought to tears by their behavior. God’s Word shows He has similar emotions to our good and bad behavior. But - He does not accept or reject us because of those behaviors.
Accepting and approving are two separate issues.
Watch Out for the Emotions Trap!
As you experience emotions because of someone else’s choices, if you do not change your thinking to God's, you will feel like you are approving their poor behavior. That further creates tension as you think you are doing something wrong. That flawed thinking driving destructive emotions will link accepting them with their behavior.
Without the Holy Spirit’s energy, you will not accept and love someone whose behavior is terrible, even evil. Your acceptance will be driven by ungodly thinking, based primarily on their behavior.
Accepting a person is NOT the same as approving their behavior!
Acceptance is separate from their behavior. That is the ESSENCE of LOVE! And that is precisely how God deals with us. He is our life example.
PURSUING THEIR BEST - Freedom in Relationships
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