The DICTATOR relationship mistake is “trying to change another person.” All four relationship mistakes are about control – this one is definitely about control. It is like you see yourself as the Jr. Holy Spirit trying to tell everyone what to do. You are the one that knows what is best for everyone else. While you …
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The Actor relationship mistake is part of all of our relationships at times. It is one of the relationship destroying mistakes that blossoms from the PROBLEM (making everything about ME – yourself). Each mistake is a form of control that hurts the relationship. The actor relationship mistake is where you “Wear a mask,” which is worn …
Relationship mistake #2 is the VICTIM, where you live in the past and “Keep the Past in the Present.” Even though the past is OVER, people become controlled by the past, because they keep dragging what has been done to them or they did to others, into today – the present. The PROBLEM (making everything about …
Making everything about ME (yourself) blossoms into at least four relationship mistakes. Each relationship mistake damages your relationships. Relationship mistake #1 is the POLITICIAN where you “Operate on Opinion and Emotions.” You speculate, guess, and assume things about what others are doing, saying, and even thinking. Of course, your opinions and guesses are always right, so …
It is difficult to accept that the big PROBLEM for relationships, any relationship, is making everything about yourself. That goes against the way that human beings are wired – the other person needs to change in order for me to be happy. Unfortunately, we are blind to how often we make life about “ME!” You may …
Reacting and responding to life, circumstances, and people means being controlled, not choosing. Relationships require choices, not reactions. Think about a time someone complained to you. Maybe it was about being overworked and underpaid. Or it was about a friend who was mistreating them. Whatever their complaint, they are upset and want it fixed. As you listened, …
There are some simple options for better thinking, and the simplest tool is to “Slow your emotions down.” That only requires counting to 10, taking 3 deep breaths, or calling a timeout. That tool was probably taught to you as a child and has been proven with medical research on the brain. Another great tool …
A simple, common pattern of life change occurs multiple times in our lives. Unfortunately, each occurrence may not turn out well. Once you know that your thinking drives your actions and emotions, it helps to have tools that help you think differently.The Pattern’s ElementsThe common pattern has three simple statements. “I was living this way. Then one …
