The Two Circles of Life

You have a sin nature and a new nature. Consider those as the two circles of life. Your sin nature leaves you in the Left Circle.—a React/Respond, Slave, Victim lifestyle. Life is an endless chain of events that we just react to or respond to, and then figure out what to do when life, circumstances, and people "happen" to you.

Complaints

Think about a time someone complained to you. Maybe it was about being overworked and underpaid. Or it was about a friend who was treating them unfairly. Whatever their complaint, they are upset and want it fixed.

As you listened, you may have sympathized with them. You may have offered insights or maybe tried to help them see things differently. But most often, no matter what wisdom you provide, they do not change their mind to see life any differently. So, they leave the conversation still struggling and complaining, because they do not see reality. And, worse, that person might be you.

Sometimes, people just need a listening ear. That allows them to adjust their thinking and move on. Other times, people get stuck wanting life to be different than it is – they are not willing to accept reality. That fits our definition of pain – “Not wanting it to be the way that it is.” That is what creates confusion, powerlessness, and no change – wanting it to be different, but not living in reality about choices you actually have.

That is where “The Two Circles” tool helps. When you take someone through the Two Circles, it helps them discover how to change for the better, accept reality, and get out of their bad thinking. 

Big Mistake

When using the Two Circles, the big mistake you will make is drawing the two circles and telling people about it. That does not work well, because the other person does not discover the truth for themselves. If you do not take the 10 to 15 minutes needed, you will often tell them about it instead of engaging them with questions. That is why the following is a complete description of how you can use the tool.

So, to get the most out of the following, do the exercise as if I am speaking to you. As we go through it, I will include comments to explain some points more thoroughly. The bold section titles provide the steps or a summary of the flow of the conversation.

At an opening in the conversation, I would say, "Would you do a little exercise with me? It will not take long, and it may help clarify some things for you."

Watch the video and see how it goes.