It is difficult to accept that the big PROBLEM for relationships, any relationship, is making everything about yourself. That goes against the way that human beings are wired - the other person needs to change in order for me to be happy.

Unfortunately, we are blind to how often we make life about “ME!” You may have noticed how easy it is to see when others are selfish and self-absorbed, but not when you are doing it.

When others are making life about “ME,” it’s like they have this big “ME” on their forehead. But, when I do it, I cannot see it – because it is on my forehead above my eyes! You are probably the same way. You can be self-absorbed, not interested in serving others, or not caring about their view, and your “ME” flashes bright enough to light a house, but you do not see it as quickly.

Interesting! No, maybe better said – SAD!

The Big Problem for Relationships Is Acting Like a Baby

A baby is a good picture of what is happening with THE PROBLEM. Not the image of supposed blessed innocence, but the picture of an out-of-control, screaming infant that wants something, JUST BECAUSE THEY DO! That is a perfect second name for the PROBLEM – The Baby.

The Baby plugs into the sin nature, which is plugged into the world that Satan himself rules. As The Baby, you take everything personally, which makes your ME flash.

Defensiveness is the primary reaction of The Baby, especially to criticism, and, as The Baby, you live primarily by appetites, impulses, and pleasures.

Your purpose in life, as The Baby, is catering to the sin nature, which is focused on selfishness, self-absorption, and self-sufficiency – “it’s all about ME."

Everyone Acts Like a Baby

Unfortunately, the big problem for relationships is built into everyone. Those without the life of Christ and the Spirit of God in them are slaves to that behavior. Those of us who have trusted Jesus’s death, burial, and resurrection as the answer for our sins have a choice: trust God or trust something or someone other than God. Present yourself to righteousness or unrighteousness (Romans 6:13).

When you act like a Baby, you do not have good thinking and truth as a cornerstone for actions and feelings. You are driven by selfishness and want your way, just like a baby. So, you react and respond to everything emotionally. You are happy, satisfied, and content only if people and circumstances treat you right – the Left Circle lifestyle. You only consider others when there is something in it for ME (your ME is flashing very brightly). Worse yet, you ultimately believe it is everybody’s job to make ME happy.

Everyone acts like The Baby because we have built-in “wants” like being accepted, included, significant, valuable, close, secure, safe, cared for, and satisfied. And, when you fear you will not get those wants (and others like them), your ME starts flashing.

Admitting your tendency toward self-absorption is not easy. You will rationalize and excuse your behavior with, “If you don’t look out for number one, who will?” Self-absorption does not need to be chosen – it is the default of the sin nature or a life that trusts something other than God.

Watch the video to learn more.