Most people would state that order and harmony would be good for a relationship. That is submission, but submission is misunderstood. Order and harmony are part of any great relationship. 

Submission is misunderstood because the word is inadequately defined. The lousy definition creates an improper approach and use.

Additionally, submission is often considered only for women, especially in marriage. But submission is required for everyone! It makes no sense for a man to talk about submission when he does not know what it means and, more importantly, when he is not practicing it. Practiced God's way, submission provides protection.

Submission Basics

Left to your sin nature, you will constantly want to control or be in charge. It is not about submission; it is about telling people what to do.

Obviously, that is not how submission works. Submission is one of the things that truly helps you pursue the best for others. It is the component on which you want to serve others.

But in order to understand why that is true, you need a good definition of submission. When you look at the Greek word that is translated as submit (hupotássō), it means…

• to place in order
• to place under in an orderly fashion

When used in Ephesians 5:22, it is hupotássomai which further means…

• to subject oneself
• place oneself in submission

Not Forced But a Choice

Submission is misunderstood if not seen as a choice to yield to another person. The military provides a clear picture of that. There are officers and those UNDER the officers. Or there are commanders and the people under the commanders. And the officers or commanders are under the ultimate leader.

The non-military use is similar. You yield yourself to the authority or will of another. So, submission means to line up underneath. Why? For order or to create order. However, submission is misunderstood when the focus is only on order.

That means when you are in a relationship and following this idea of submission, you are willing to line yourself up underneath another person as a means of supporting them and maintaining order. As you will see later, that is not everything about submission, but it is a critical element.

Notice how this works with love. When you pursue their best patiently, kindly, sacrificially, and unconditionally – you willingly line up underneath another person. All of God’s Word fits together; this is just one piece that makes relationships work best.

The Definition

Importantly, please remember that submission is for everyone, not just for women! Ephesians 5:21 states, “Submitting yourselves one to another.”

So, men, please, never talk about submission to your wife if you do not understand it yourself. Until you learn how to submit to your boss the way God wants you to and submit to authorities the way God wants you to, then please do not try to get anyone to submit to you, much less your wife.

It is time to define submission. A simple, usable definition is:

An internal, voluntary act of the will to yield to another.

That definition is important, so keep it in your mind as we discuss submission further. It means you choose to submit. No one can make you submit.

Practical Application

Let me give you four verses that will help you apply submission daily.

…that you also submit to such, and to everyone who works and labors with us. – 1 Corinthians 16:16 (NKJV)

Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake, whether to the king as supreme, 14 or to governors, as to those who are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and for the praise of those who do good. – 1 Peter 2:13‐14 (NKJV)

Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. – 1 Peter 5:5 (NKJV)

Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you. – Hebrews 13:17 (NKJV)

There are many others that are just as clear and practical that impact your daily living. God’s Word clearly wants you to submit. Why? Because that is the way the body of Christ works best. God wants each body member to serve other members, thinking of others as more important than themselves rather than their “ME” flashing.

God wants you to submit to others in the fear of God because that makes the body healthy.

Submission Displays God’s Image

Since submission is misunderstood, let's look at the Trinity. Submission is displayed between the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. I will discuss that further soon, but first, I would love to discuss another significant component of submission– the image of God.

People say to me, “Hermann, you think of the image of God as a hammer so everything in life looks like a nail to you.” Well, that is true. It is a clear issue that impacts all of life and how relationships work.

When you apply the image of God to what you study in the Bible, you gain new insight into that area of study. That is what I have seen. Okay then, can submission be understood using the terms Powerful and Relational?

Two Approaches to Submission

As you study submission, two approaches tend to show up. One is authority and submission, and the other is mutual submission. Think about this. Authority and submission—what is that? That might be obvious – it is the Powerful element of the image of God.

Then, mutual submission is the relational aspect of the image of God.

Submission is a word about how people relate to each other, but there is a power element and a relating element in all relationships. The authority and submission approach is about ORDER in the relationship. On the other hand, the mutual submission approach provides the HARMONY in the relationship.

You reduce chaos in the relationship when you have order, and you reduce the flashing “me” in a relationship when you have harmony. Order is an impersonal structure and harmony is a personal structure.

It Is Both, Not Just One

Submission is misunderstood because people only want to talk about one side or the other. Mostly, people want to talk about mutual submission for harmony in relationships. They only want to talk about how we are supposed to be mutually submitting one to another in the fear of God. 

I am definitely for harmony, but please do not exclude the element of order (authority and submission). That is equally important. Both need to be considered because Christians are to voluntarily put themselves under authority to maintain order and carry the burdens for others to enhance harmony in relationships. When you do it that way, with order and harmony, you practice submission in a way that fits the image of God.

After studying submission, I would have had a better attitude about submission and may have been a better employee and leader. But it goes much further than that – a better husband, a better father, a better son, a better brother, and a better member of the body of Christ.

Submission Displays the Mind of Christ

And that is exactly the point!  Submission is misunderstood because it is easy to avoid or ignore it. That is why we call it—The S Word.  "Oh, do not talk about that!" People do not want to talk about submission unless they want people to submit to them.

And, of course, when it involves women to men or wife to husband, “Oh, don’t touch that one!  That’s not politically correct!”

There is such a bad view of this excellent word, so submission is misunderstood. But it plugs directly into the solution for every relationship. The minute you submit the way God wants you to, it not only demonstrates the mind of Christ but also cancels the flashing “me” out completely. 

The mind of Jesus Christ is clearly shown in Philippians 2:3-8.

Philippians 2:3‐8 (NKJV) – Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.

They Are More Important

When you use the mind of Christ, you think of others as more important than yourself. You put their interests in front of yours, as seen in verses three and four.

And then you see in verses five through eight, that the mind of Christ lowers yourself to sacrifice for others and submits to the need of others.

That is exactly how Christ wants you to think about relationships.

Christ submitted to our needs. Christ has all authority. Everything lines up underneath Him. He is the authority providing the ORDER for the entire universe. He is in charge. But notice what He did. He took His authority and said, “I’m going to create harmony between Me and you. Since I have all the authority, I can order anything to be how I want it, so I will provide the path for you to have HARMONY with Me.”

Hopefully, you can see that submission is misunderstood when you ignore the combination of the two submission elements in those Philippians verses.

Remember, submission is always voluntary for both order and harmony. You voluntarily line yourself underneath someone to support them, even if you are the leader, and you focus on whether they are lining up underneath you. When you lead, you do both elements of submission – create order and harmony.

Demonstrates Love

And when you submit that way, you demonstrate love – pursue the best for others; patiently, kindly, sacrificially, and unconditionally. 

Submission is misunderstood when you do not have the foundation of love. So, I believe love comes first. It is the highest of all the values. And, when you submit with the correct intent of your heart, you are practicing God's love with others.