Women's design when only looking on the outside is stunning, but combined with the inside she is an amazing blessing from God. It would be rare for most men, including me, not to be captured by God's design of a woman.

Facts

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” – Genesis 2:18

Do you remember that it was God who said it was “not good that man should be alone?” It was God. And do you remember what God wanted for man?  “A helper comparable to him.” So, God made exactly what man needed – Woman.

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” – Genesis 2:21-23

Do not miss God’s clear reasoning here for creating woman. She is to be a helper to man. Other versions say the helper will be “suitable,” “meet,” or “as his counterpart.” And, men, God clearly says you need a helper.

You may have the opinion, as do many, that the role and value of a helper is less than the one who is helped. Satan wants you to think that! If women do not have or are not allowed to do the same role as men, they must not have the same value. It is the same lie he tells people everywhere: if you do not have a large or prestigious role, it means you are less of a person or less valuable.

On the other hand, if you understand the way God uses the word helper, you might think differently. In fact, understanding “helper” is both humbling and amazing for men and women.

The Hebrew word used is “ezer”, and it occurs 21 times in the Bible; 19 times it is translated as “help”, twice as “help meet”. “Ezer” means help, support, aid, and it designates assistance or, more often, the assistant like in Genesis 2:18.

Here is the amazing thing: helper is generally used of God, especially in Psalms.

I will lift up my eyes to the hills—From whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth. – Psalms 121:1-2

Since God describes Himself as a “helper,” then “helper” is an exceptionally good thing! It is not a slur or something demeaning. Obviously, if you ignore that God says helper is an incredibly good thing or you use the world’s view of help, then you will not like being called a helper.

Women, a helper is a high calling and exactly what you were made for! A helper in a self-centered, individualistic, narcissistic world is counter-cultural, therefore, opposing the desire of the sin nature to make everything about ME. In effect, a helper looks at life through God’s eyes and acts like God because that thinking elevates service over self. A helper is an exceptionally good thing because it is a word God uses of Himself!

Not only a helper, but a “helper comparable” or suitable. The Hebrew word “neged” means “what is in front of, corresponding to.” And in English, both Webster’s and Collins Dictionary define suitable as “appropriate, proper, a fit, adapted to a use or purpose, satisfying propriety, able, qualified.”

God is the perfect creator. He knows precisely how things, and people, fit together best, and He created woman as the perfect companion for man.

So, while Man is designed to work, to need help, and to need a suitable companion, Woman is designed to relate, help, support, be compatible with, and be suitable for, Man. God’s design is different for each because they have different roles.

Opinion

Despite the clarity of the different designs and unique roles, people choose to see it differently. That is especially true when the agenda is about comparing men to women to elevate one over the other.

Remember the Hebrew word “neged”? It can be translated “in front of” or “in sight of”. Some people interpret this as equality, and even superiority. For example:

God created woman to be “in front of” or “visible” to Adam, which would symbolize equality (if not superiority!) in all respects. Even more, one can argue that the female is the helper who rules over the one she helps! – Aida Besancon Spencer, Beyond the Curse

Dr. Bensancon Spencer’s work concerning the first chapters of Genesis is good when compared to other scholars that I have read, but her focus or agenda is about proving that women should have or do the same ministerial roles as men. That agenda colors her approach; therefore, she focuses on equality and mutual submission but does not see that roles are separate from equality or that submission is also used to maintain order. She provides no admission of the reality of equality in value with someone AND having a different role.

She may know that is true from experience and, more importantly, from the example of the Triune God, but she apparently does not accept it or think that was important enough to put into her book. The reality is the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit all are equal AND have different roles. Each member of the Trinity is equal in value, mutually submits to one another, AND maintains order with their different roles. You can read more on the value of understanding submission through the lens of the Image of God in “The SOLUTION Creates Order and Harmony.”

There is no doubt that men also improperly interpret God’s Word to push the lie that women are inferior to men. This is unfortunately the consequence of the judgments provided in Genesis 3 (see “Divine Judgments”). Dr. Besancon Spencer is fighting a good fight related to equality in value, but the pendulum swings too far when she proposes that the roles are also equal. In contrast to that thinking, Dr. Eugene Merrill provides valuable insight:

That woman was taken from man no more implies the inferiority of woman to man than the taking of man from the ground implies the inferiority of man to the ground. Nor does the term “helper” connote subordination… A helper … is not necessarily dominant or subordinate but one who meets a need in the life and experience of someone else. – Merrill, Eugene A Biblical Theology of the Old Testament, p19 

The context is clear. Animals have partners to correspond to them, and man needs a partner who complements and corresponds to him. Woman is that perfect partner created by God for man. Man is not superior to her or woman to him AND they have different roles to fulfill.

Consider the following also.

Was Eve Adam’s equal? Yes and no. She was his spiritual equal and … “suitable for him.”  But she was not his equal in that she was his “helper.” God did not create man and woman in an undifferentiated way, and their mere maleness and femaleness identify their respective roles. A man, just by virtue of his manhood, is called to lead for God. A woman, just by virtue of her womanhood, is called to help for God.  – “Male – Female Equality and Male Headship,” Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, 102, Raymond C. Ortlund, Jr.

God did not create Eve to be superior to Adam; neither did He design her to be his slave. He did give them a perfect relationship: man as the head willingly providing for her, and she willingly submitting to him. Adam saw Eve as one with him in every respect—that was God’s design for a perfectly glorious union.” – Different by Design, MacArthur, John

Design

Going back to the farming metaphor, women are designed to help, nurture, and support the seed. A woman bears, births, assists, aids, and gives relief to what was planted. Like man, a woman does not do this alone, because she is the complementary companion to help man and his aloneness, which is often unrecognized by a man. Finally, a woman’s design is best utilized in combination with a man’s design, joining in complementary oneness.

Women, you are designed with an emphasis and strength to relate and all the many facets that requires. Whatever you endeavor, whether leading or following, when you use your innate ability to relate, you focus on your strength. Every woman leader that I coach, I ask them to consider leading with their relational design instead of trying to be powerful.

Overall, these three words reasonably describe a woman’s design:

Help, Nurture, and Support.