What About Me?

What about me? If you are thinking about yourself, is it good or bad? You can know if you are sensitive to the conviction of the Holy Spirit. And my speculation is 95% or more of the time, thoughts about "ME" are self-absorbed. (That's based on personal experience, and I admit I am probably more self-absorbed than you.)

Most of the time, the simple rule is that your "ME" thoughts are self-absorbed, not self-controlled. Most likely, your "ME" thoughts are seldom about examining yourself to determine if your actions, thoughts, or feelings are righteous or unrighteous. (1 Corinthians 11:28, 2 Corinthians 13:5, Galatians 6:4).

The Guideline to Use

Even with the simple guideline above, let’s look at the question further.

Can you know for sure when you are self-absorbed or self-controlled? The answer is clearly stated in Matthew 22:37-39, Mark 12:30, or Luke 10:27. The essential words in Matthew 22:37,39 are "You shall love the Lord your God... You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

So, using those verses, you can use this guideline.

When your "me" thoughts do NOT interfere with...

• OBEYING God and
• LOVING (pursuing the best for) others

...then your "me" thoughts, actions, or feelings are okay or acceptable to God.

Notice that the guideline does NOT say "loving God.” Why? Because "obeying" is a more precise criterion for us.

If I asked you, "Do you love God?" it would be easy for you to answer, "Yes.” But, if I ask, "Are you obeying God right now?" your mind has more specific information to consider. You can assess what you know God has asked you to do and not do in your current situation, then provide a more objective answer.

More importantly, look at John 14:15—"If you love Me, keep My commandments."

Your love of God is demonstrated in your answer to “Are you obeying Him or not?”

So, you are self-controlled or self-examined when your "ME" thoughts, actions, and feelings align with God's Word.

Testing the Guideline

Let's test the guideline with this somewhat tricky question: "Is asking for help okay, or is it a ME flashing moment?"

Some people struggle with asking for help because getting help is about me, but is it always a "What about ME" moment? You may be suffering and think that you are self-absorbed or simply selfish if you ask for help. But is that true?

Use the guideline and ask yourself, "Will asking for help interfere with me obeying God or pursuing the best for others?"

Is it OBEYING God?

The primary difficulty you face is that God tells you to trust Him to provide for you (Matthew 6:33). So, when you ask for help, does that mean you are not obeying God? It depends on your thoughts about the answer you get after asking for help.

If you are okay, content with the answer you get—especially if they DO NOT help—you are more likely to trust that God will provide. That is the same as obeying God because God says that faith in Him pleases Him (Hebrews 11:6). If you are content, whether you get help or not, you would likely be asking in faith. Again, it is especially true if they didn't help and you didn’t judge them.

Is it PURSUING THEIR BEST? 

First, if you focus on what others should be doing, it most often turns into being judgmental. Any thoughts like, "They should be helping me, but they are too selfish!" are signs that your "ME" is flashing. That thinking has NO benefit for your growth and walk with the Lord. And it violates the second part of the guideline—pursuing another person's best.

When you love someone, pursuing their best does not require that they change their life or behavior. And, it certainly means it is okay if they do or don't help you. That means you don't have expectations of them; you only focus on God's "expectations" of you. You can want them to help, but it does not change your thinking, actions, or feelings toward them when they don't.

Second, you may NOT be pursuing their best if you DON'T ask! Why? Because God may want to use this situation to help them grow by helping you. God uses people in His PERFECT plan for each of us.

So, the key element is if you are content with their answer. If you are content, you are most likely OBEYING God, trusting that He knows and will do what is BEST for you. And, you are pursuing their best, practicing freedom, not "requiring" them to do anything.