Reacting and responding to life, circumstances, and people means being controlled, not choosing. Relationships require choices, not reactions.

Think about a time someone complained to you. Maybe it was about being overworked and underpaid. Or it was about a friend who was mistreating them. Whatever their complaint, they are upset and want it fixed.

As you listened, you may have sympathized with them. You may have offered insights or tried to help them see things differently. But most often, no matter what wisdom you provide, they do not change their mind to see life any differently. So, they leave the conversation still struggling and complaining, because they do not see reality. And, worse, that person might be you.

Two Circles Aids Accepting Reality

Sometimes, people need a listening ear. That allows them to adjust their thinking and move on. Other times, people get stuck wanting life to be different than it is – they are unwilling to accept reality. That fits our definition of pain – “Not wanting it to be the way that it is.” That creates confusion, powerlessness, and no change – wanting it to be different, but not living in reality about your choices.

That is where “The Two Circles” tool helps. Taking someone through the Two Circles helps them discover how to change for the better, accept reality, and get out of their bad thinking.

Let Them Discover Reality

When using the Two Circles, the big mistake you will make is drawing and telling people about the two circles. That does not work well because the other person does not discover the truth for themselves. If you do not take the 10 to 15 minutes needed, you will often tell them about it instead of engaging them with questions. That is why the following is a complete description of how you can use the tool.

Watch this video to see a tool that helps people see reality.