REAL women are busy with what? What you value is more often where you spend your time and money. So, what do real woman value?
When you read parts of the Bible, it's easy to think, "Does that really apply today?" Especially Western societies, it's really easy to think that when reading Titus 2:4 where God is asking young women to be "...homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." That can't be relevant for today, can it?
If you went to a party and did an informal survey with the guests about their views of being a stay-at-home mom, what do you think would be said?
My bet is that in most areas of the Western world, few people would provide positive feedback. And if you were seeking encouragement to be a homemaker, there would be fewer honest encouragers. The media portrays a homemaker as a silly option and in some cases even sub-human!
But that is the world speaking, not God. God obviously esteems being a homemaker or busy at home otherwise, He would not put it in the list of desirable traits for godly women – REAL women.
God wants you to be a homemaker because it fits with His desire for godly parents to raise “…godly offspring…” (Malachi 2:15) so that the children have a foundation to choose to become godly adults. God wants a father and mother to “Train up a child in the way he should go…” (Proverbs 32:6), and that requires time from parents.
Can that be done by other than the parents or if the mother does not stay at home? Yes, but that can sidetrack us from another VERY CLEAR issue. Are you doing what God asks you to do?
That is a fundamental question or issue for all your life. For you, God lists “homemaker”, so are you? Yes, God wants godly offspring, but He wants you to simply obey Him and do what He asks. And He never asks us to do something that He will not energize you to do or, more importantly, He never asks us to do something that is not for your BEST.
Titus 2 Is Critical for Men and Women
That is why this list of items in Titus 2 is so important for both men and women. You will stand before God in the future and give an account of whether you did these things or not. You have a chance to shed less tears if you start doing what He asks. Do not be like me – there will be a river of tears for not being the father and husband He asked me to be. It is time to stop rationalizing and start obeying.
You do not think your way into clarity about these issues. You obey and God provides you clarity on why it is right. The more you obey, the more you see things the way God sees them – which is the essence of Godliness – seeing life the way God sees it.
Please do not let this be what God says about you.
So, they come to you as people do, they sit before you as My people, and they hear your words, but they do not do them, for with their mouth they show much love, but their hearts pursue their own gain – Ezekiel 33:31
Homemakers are a small minority. Statistics show it. Now, I am not saying you are in sin if you work. That would be moving into an area that I can only speculate about right now. I am saying that if you are not a homemaker or focused on what is best for the home, God desires that. And doing what God wants is always BEST for you!
Busy With What
What are you busy with? Are you busy at home or busy with maintaining a lifestyle?
Working away from home may not be up to you. Perhaps you have to in order to make ends meet? And some husbands mandate or require their wives to work. But whether you are free to stay home all day or whether you only come home in the evenings, the same question remains: Are you working to benefit the home or to maintain your lifestyle? What takes precedence over your husband and children? If it is things (better homes, better schools, better cars, better clothes…) that require money, and that is why so many married women work. But you and I both know that home is not about things.
The Greek word for a homemaker is a combination of the words for “home” and “guard.” God is stating that He wants you to be domestically inclined, a keeper at home, and even a guardian of the home! And home is far better when the wife is keeping and guarding it well, no matter how little stuff you have.
Make no mistake, being a homemaker is more about a heart attitude than about actions or location (in or out of the home).
Some proof of this is provided by Dr. Roger Webb in “The Effect That Working Women Have on Children.” Notice how the effect that working mothers have on their children depends mostly on the mother’s attitude. A mother who chooses to work when they do not have to – has the worst effect on their children. The second worst results are from a mother who is at home but does not want to be there. Children pick up on that attitude, and it works against your relationship with your children.
The Effect That Working Mothers Have on Children
- Worst results—Mother who chooses to work but does not have to work
- Second worst results—Mother who is at home but does not want to be there
- Best results—Mother who chooses to be at home
- Second best results—Mother who has to work but demonstrates to children she would rather be home with them
Dr. Roger Webb, Professor of Psychology, University of Arkansas Little Rock, 1986
Some women use the example of the Proverbs 31 wife to justify their career or work outside the home. If you want a great study, look at all that she did. Even the buying and selling of a field was a secondary element to the primary element of benefiting the home. You can download a summary of the Proverbs 31 woman here.