What’s In It For ME?

A life driven by appetites, impulses, and pleasures asks, "What's in it for ME?" Your sin nature is the energy for your "ME" to flash. These "ME" flashing moments, days, months, and even years, cripple relationships. This lifestyle is living in the Left Circle—reacting and responding, but not choosing to live wisely. 

The Two Circles illustrates how we make everything about “ME,” which is THE PROBLEM that destroys relationships. It is the root from which relationship mistakes grow.

Our Sin Nature Promotes What's in It for ME

Unfortunately, we are blind to how often we make life about “ME”! You may have noticed how easy it is to see when others are selfish and self-absorbed, but not when you are doing it. Is that true for you? It sure is for me.

When others are making life about “ME”, it’s like they have this big “ME” on their forehead. But, when I do it, I cannot see it – because it is on my forehead above my eyes! Are you the same way? When you are self-absorbed, not interested in serving others, and do not care about their view, your “ME” is flashing bright enough to light a house, but you do not see it as easily.

Interesting! No, maybe better said – SAD!

Acting Like Babies

A baby is a good picture of what is happening with THE PROBLEM. Not the image of supposed blessed innocence, but the picture of an out-of-control, screaming infant that wants something, JUST BECAUSE I DO! That is a perfect second name for the PROBLEM – The Baby.

The Baby plugs into the sin nature, which is plugged into the world, which is plugged into and ruled by Satan himself. As The Baby, you take everything personally, which makes your ME flash.

Defensiveness is the primary reaction of The Baby, especially about criticism, and, as The Baby, you live primarily by appetites, impulses, and pleasures.

Your purpose in life, as The Baby, is catering to the sin nature, which is focused on selfishness, self-absorption, and self-sufficiency – “What's in it for ME?”

It's Built In

Unfortunately, this "What's in it for ME?" behavior is built into everyone. Those without the life of Christ and the Spirit of God in them are slaves to that behavior. Those of us who have trusted Jesus’s death, burial, and resurrection as the answer for our sin have a choice: trust God or trust something or someone other than God. Present yourself to righteousness or unrighteousness (Romans 6:13).

When you act like a Baby, you do not have good thinking and truth as a cornerstone for actions and feelings. You are driven by selfishness and wanting your way, just like a baby. So, you react and respond to everything emotionally. You are happy, satisfied, and content only if people and circumstances treat you right – Left Circle lifestyle. Considering others only happens when something is in it for "ME" (your ME is flashing brightly). You ultimately believe it is everybody’s job to make ME happy.

Everyone acts like The Baby because we have built in “wants” like being accepted, included, significant, valuable, close, secure, safe, cared for, and satisfied. And, when you fear you will not get those wants (and others like them), your ME starts flashing.

Admit Your Self-absorption

Admitting your tendency toward self-absorption is not easy. You will rationalize and excuse your behavior with “if you don’t look out for number one, who will?” Self-absorption does not need to be chosen – it is the default of the sin nature or a life that trusts something other than God.