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08A - Freedom from Being Emotion Led
Critical
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Critical Tools
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About 08A - Freedom from Being Emotion Led
You need four critical tools for great relationships. You can say they help implement the SOLUTION and, at the same time, aren't effective without the energy of the SOLUTION. Great relationships depend on understanding how to effectively use every one of these critical tools. The FIRST tool that tends to help people is to understand how your emotions tend to work. This basic understanding helps you grasp the remaining three tools and the SOLUTION.
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08A - Freedom from Being Emotion Led
Critical
If you would rather live truth instead of speculation or opinion, then be clear about the interaction of three elements: feelings, thoughts, and actions.
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Consider the options for three words: Think – Feel – Act. Which sequence do you suppose most people use? How about you?
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Feelings will often create problems. Again, it is not that feelings are bad; they are just indicators. Therefore, they respond to the stimuli they receive and are untrustworthy and fickle. You can reinforce the idea that feelings are primarily responders and often untrustworthy by considering two simple statements.
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Since feelings are only indicators or responders, acting or thinking should come first. That choice is relatively easy. Ready – fire – aim is not a good option. Acting before thinking can be as bad as letting your emotions lead.
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Order or consistency is essential for life and your body. Research shows that if you feel depressed, you can act differently than your feelings to impact the depressed feelings. Consider the following scripture that promotes that thought:
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Behavior can be easier to change than an attitude or feeling because it is tangible. If the action is taken consistently, despite the feelings, then feelings will eventually respond.
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The most important thing in your life is your thinking – it drives everything else that you do or feel. What you think about is what your life reflects in your actions and feelings. If your thinking about God does not match God’s Word, then your thinking is distorted, impacting all areas of your life. Worse yet, you are violating the first commandment
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Romans 8:6 (NIV) – The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The scripture above provides a strong statement that thinking drives you in the direction of life or death. Using life or death shows how critical your thinking is and what is going on in your mind is so important as we see in many scriptures.
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Good thinking helps us eliminate the lousy part of a common pattern everyone experiences in life. The pattern occurs over and over. The outcome of each occurrence either leads to a life that glorifies God or further self-absorption.
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Since the pattern is so real, the middle part, “THIS happened” is the critical element. The THIS in David’s story was when Nathan confronted him, but that is just one way to see THIS.
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What happened that moved you to change? What THIS happened? One thing most likely occurred, you adopted different thinking, which matches the following principle. "If people are changed, they are changed largely because their thinking has changed."
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With truth and reality in mind, build on the earlier statement – "We seldom change for the better unless we accept and act on truth or reality." What reality/truth are you not applying to your life? Are you willing to ask others for their input?
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So, what is THIS? It is one of two things: • Truth and Reality or • Lies, Deception, and Bad Assumptions You will know which as you look at where your life goes from that point or get someone to review your decision compared to God’s Word.
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Most situations will stimulate your emotions in some way. It can be anything from a near-miss collision with another car, hearing lies about you, or a temptation to sin. Whatever it is, something happens, and feelings are stimulated. Your flesh is ready to act, and your self-control may be switched off.
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What happens when you do not take time to think and weigh your options? You react and respond as you previously saw. But it is worse than you think. Depending on the situation, what you think you value can easily be pushed aside depending on the temptation at hand. For example, research shows that men who select good values toward women, then shown pornographic images of women, will select lower, immoral, and even illegal actions toward women as they view those images.
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Clear thinking or removing confusion is not natural to most people. It is especially challenging when you are emotional or assume absolutes do not exist. Digital Thinking, a technique taught by Robert Fritz, helps create clarity and focus by using opposites or what he calls “2s”.
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While not quite as helpful as 2s, another tool of digital thinking is 3s which assumes no change.
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When you talk with someone, you can help them discover solutions without giving them advice if you use digital thinking or opposites.
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Early in these courses, you saw and read about the Ultimate 2. It is THE fundamental question and decision you have in life. It is constantly part of your life.