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12B - Creating the Relationship You Want
Important
Intermediate
Video
Helpful Tools
15 Lessons
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About 12B - Creating the Relationship You Want
In my years of working with people, companies, and myself, these three problems show up often! Yes, there are more problems than this, but these 3 capture the essence of the struggle.
• Rudderless
• Blind
• Unfocused
RUDDERLESS means a lack of clarity about purpose, strategy, and goals. You are unclear about where you are going. You are like the question, "What is the difference between a ship without a rudder and a captain without a charted course? Nothing! Both will go somewhere driven by the day's currents, wind, and tide.”
IS THAT YOU?
Or you may be BLIND. That means you are not in touch with reality, "how things really are." The actual state of the organization or your life is unclear. When people are unclear about their current reality, they tend to fall into two fallacies. Believing that things are BETTER than they really are, or they are WORSE than they really are. They become subjective, not objective, about life. They editorialize and estimate and guess and speculate rather than observe reality.
Finally, UNFOCUSED is often the result of the first two, but it can also happen by ignoring a clear end result and current reality. Your days, weeks, and months are filled with inconsistent and uncoordinated actions. Your life is filled with "fighting brush fires." While often remarkably busy, there is little to show for your work and effort.
Ready?
12B - Creating the Relationship You Want
Important
In my years of working with people, companies, and myself, these 3 problems show up often! Yes, there are more problems than this, but these 3 capture the essence of the struggle.
Important
Robert Fritz teaches some outstanding principles about the way things work. An element that influences or drives our lives is “structure” which can be physical or mental. The mental structures, though, are the most powerful.
Important
This is a short video because it introduces the exercise you need to complete. Please STOP READING and do the exercise when you are asked to do so below.
Important
From the list you created, choose a Want to practice using the THP tool. If none of your list is acceptable, write a new Want you will use.
Important
Important
Why is HERE so critical? It establishes the starting point for the PATH! I believe that the Biggest FLAW in most planning or goal setting comes from not being CLEAR about HERE—Current Reality.
Important
Just like there are 3 categories of wants or THERE, you have 3 categories of current reality or HERE.
Important
The wise man bridges the gap by laying out the path by means of which he can get from where he is to where he wants to go. — JP Morgan
Important
The beginning is half of every action. - Greek proverb. Completing your THP Personal Planning Form is a great first step, but action is required for results. THP helps you create a plan, but you need to execute the plan before you can move toward or actually get to THERE.
Important
The creative process is not a manufacturing process. Other people may have done what you are trying to do, but you have not done it. That means you are trying to create something new, at least for you.
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Since you are committed to reaching your THERE, I want to give you two tools that will help you continue to act until you reach THERE. The tools are resources that can be downloaded below.
Important
Researchers estimate learning takes 1 to 3 years to produce transformation or competence. Part of the problem is a lack of want to change. It is so easy to say the words about a change in our life, but when it comes to making the change, it is often more work than initially thought.
Important
Persistence is the third leg of the creative process (THP, ALA, Persist). It is needed to turn action into progress, help reduce skepticism and “can’t do,” improve and make the tough changes, help change irresponsible into responsible, demonstrate COMMITMENT instead of talk, and simply GET THINGS DONE!
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Three helpful thoughts and actions are communicate clearly and consistently, focus on deliberate action, and focus on self-governance.
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