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Critical Tools

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About 08D - Freedom From Real and False Guilt

You need four critical tools for great relationships. You can say they help implement the SOLUTION and, at the same time, aren't effective without the energy of the SOLUTION. Great relationships depend on understanding how to effectively use every one of these critical tools. The FOURTH tool is the second action required to help a relationship be restored. If you do not use the THIRD and FOURTH tool, you have no cure for the pain of wrongs done to you and wrongs you do to others. Both tools are needed to stop being controlled by the past. This tool prevents you from being controlled by what you did to others.

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08D - Freedom From Real and False Guilt

Confession and Guilt

4 Lessons

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Confession Defined (7:55)

Confession is admitting you have done something wrong, which often means others have been hurt. It does not matter who you are; if you want a great relationship, confess the wrong you did to them and forgive when they confess to you.

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Confession Insights (9:27)

You often are not willing to confess sin because you have invested so much in it. Allow me to explain. The more you invest in something the more power it has over you. Imagine you own an expensive car.

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Real & False Guilt (6:39)

The last thing to consider is there is a difference between real and false guilt. Just reading that statement may make you think that should be obvious to everyone, but it is not. Dr. Paul Tournier stated these two definitions in his book A Doctor’s Casebook in the Light of the Bible.

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Create a List (1:14)

Confession is such a powerful tool provided by God. When you acknowledge your sin before God and accept Jesus’ death as payment for your past, present, and future sins, then you are free from guilt and condemnation.

Dealing With False Guilt

7 Lessons

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False Guilt (10:50)

False guilt originates primarily from bad thinking. That bad thinking demands bad feelings and often leads to bad actions. You may be experiencing thoughts like, “I have a huge feeling of guilt, but can’t understand why.”

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Step 1 – Adopted (6:15)

The first step is to remember that you have a new family. Consider St Paul’s words to the Church in Ephesus:

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Step 2 – Forgiven (6:17)

You have not only been adopted into God’s family but also forgiven of your sins by God. If at any point in your life you trusted His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior, then you stand before God FORGIVEN.

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Your List (5:44)

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Step 3 – Justified (7:39)

Freedom in the Lord is not a subjective matter. You are objectively, completely free because God says you stand justified before Him in Christ. Justification is a legal term that means, “to be declared not guilty.”

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But I WILL Still Sin (9:46)

This does not mean you won’t continue to sin once you’ve been sealed by the Holy Spirit. You will. And God knows this. Therefore, He allowed St. Paul to write to us in Romans about his own sin.

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Your List Again (4:21)

Now, get your list that you created earlier.

Dealing With Real Guilt

9 Lessons

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Real Guilt (8:14)

Real guilt is a gift of God to turn you from further sin and consequences. God uses real guilt to bring you to repentance and experience His forgiveness.

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Step 1 - Choose Humility (9:18)

Humility is essential for confession. Without it you remain defensive and judgmental and unable to see the real issues that are going on in your life.

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Step 2 - Own Your Own Guilt, Don't Excuse It (5:33)

One of the more difficult things for you to do in life is own what you have done and accept the consequences. The temptation to pass the buck and blame someone else is strong.

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Step 3 – Name the REAL Offense (3:10)

Confession requires honesty, objectivity, and reality. It is about what is going on. This is not something you can do on your own power. Left to your own devices you will “chicken out” and talk about petty issues or peripheral sin.

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Step 4 – Feel the Offense as They Felt It (3:05)

Empathy involves attempting to see life from another’s person’s perspective, understanding their pain, and then doing something about that pain.

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Step 5 – Earnestly Repent of Your Sin (8:41)

Repentance is ultimately how you get your heart aligned with God, which is what God wants. He wants an intimate relationship with you and that requires your thinking aligned with His.

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Step 6 – Soberly Confess Your Sin (7:25)

As you have already read, confession first takes place with God and then with the other person you have wronged and injured.

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Step 7 – Sincerely Thank God For the Conflict (4:29)

Most people avoid conflict like a plague. It should not be so among believers. Conflict is actually a great time for learning and development. More importantly, God can bless us immensely even if the conflict was evil.

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