When you want to be accepted by others you will be controlled by them. Now think about it, it’s their choice whether they will accept you—you must meet their standards (probably multiple standards) and even if you meet their standards, they still may not accept you. Ultimately it comes down to whether they want to accept you or not. And, if you really want to be accepted, you may compromise or ignore your values and beliefs. That's one reason why gangs work and good people do bad things they did not think they would do.