Blaming Others Hurts Families

Hopefully, most people would agree that blaming others hurts families and relationships. As usual, God has given us His wisdom in the Bible, Ezekiel 18. It is about sour grapes. What do sour grapes have to do with families and blaming others?

Well, keep reading because it is essential. "As I live," says the Lord GOD, "you shall no longer use this proverb in Israel."

What is it about that proverb that God does not like?

The Proverb

Ezekiel 18:1 quotes a proverb about fathers eating sour grapes and the children setting their teeth on edge. In verse 3, God says He never wants to hear that proverb again.

Ezekiel 18:1-3 (NKJV)—The word of the LORD came to me again, saying, “What do you mean when you use this proverb concerning the land of Israel, saying: ‘The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge’? “As I live,” says the Lord GOD, “you shall no longer use this proverb in Israel."

If you get the picture of the proverb, the father is eating sour grapes, but the children are reacting to the sourness, you will see what is happening. The children blame the father for the way they turned out.

God says, I never want to hear that again (verse 3). But why are the children saying it? Because the children were referring to Exodus 20:5 "...visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate me..."

So, it is understandable they would be thinking this way.

Correcting Their Bad Thinking

But God sets the record straight. Even if there are consequences from your parents’ behavior or consequences from your children's behavior, the real issue is YOUR BEHAVIOR! Blaming others hurts families and relationships, so God has no tolerance for that behavior. That is made abundantly clear in verse 20.

Ezekiel 18:20 (NKJV)—The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.

It is imperative to understand what God is telling you here. Even if you are the most reprobate parent, the ultimate end for your child is still their decision for or against God. He will hold them accountable for choosing Him or not. And God will hold you accountable for being a reprobate parent, not for your children's decisions.

Suppose you have great children who honor God, excellent. If you have reprobate children who dishonor God, that is sad. Either way, the issue you need to focus on is your behavior, not theirs. Are you the parent God wants you to be right now? If you are walking with God, I hope that you continue. And I hope that your children continue to be godly.

God Does Not Accept Blaming

You can keep on blaming others in the family, or you can change. That decision is completely yours.

You might try to blame your parents for the way you are, or your parents blame you for your bad decisions, but God says that is not acceptable. You are responsible for your decisions, and they are responsible for theirs.

This is about trusting God, no matter your children's or parents' lifestyle. Are you willing to trust that His plan is PERFECT, despite what you see?

This is a critical message about freedom, humility, and accountability. As parents, are we willing to accept it?